This page has nothing to do with horses or dogs specifically. Instead it is for your entertainment. Through the years, I have taught some amazing, funny, intelligent, and honorable high school students. Every once in a while, they have asked some interesting questions or made some unique statements. The following are some of the more "clever" questions and statements made by my students. Enjoy.
In addition, I've come across some clever, miscellaneous statements. I decided to include them on this website. I have also had a few random thoughts on various topics. These statements and thoughts are recorded under "comments". For most, I don't know who said them or where I heard them. For those that I do know where they came from, I cited the source. Enjoy.
Boy told me he had "terminology class" last year. Unfamiliar with that class, I asked what they taught in the class. He said, "you know, math stuff." Upon further invistigation, it turns out that the rest of us refer to the class as "trigonometry".
Girl kept asking if I had any pictures of a "sham a lion". She meant chamelion.
Junior boy looked at me and said, "I take all of these tests you give and still YOU fail me." I responded, "you get all the answers wrong." Boy said, "yes, but what difference does that make? I still take the tests so I should pass!"
"Gopher" has a new spelling in sophomore Biology. "Golfer"
Two high school senior girls went clothes shopping on Monday. Entering the store, one girl said to the other, "Oh darn, we should have come tomorrow." "Why?" said the other girl. First girl said, "Read the sign. Tuesday, 70% senior discount. We could save a lot of money."
During a discussion about homecoming themes and decorating, one student suggested "Lion King". Another student blurted out, "That would be really easy to decorate for. Just put a dog on a rock."
"Is the North Star in the south?"
Name the river that separates the US and Mexico. Answer: The Gulf of Mexico.
As I was collecting the essay tests, the girl sitting behind the straight A student glanced at his test and proclaimed, "now I know how he does so well on his tests. He writes the answers on his test paper."
Do humans have a gizzard?
I asked a female student, "How many electrons are in Lithium?" Girl's answer, "yellow". A boy piped up and asked her, "What's your favorite number in the alphabet?" She responded, "4."
Full Crumb normally is spelled fulcrum.
Boy is sneaking up behind girl. Girl says, "what are you doing? I can see you with my personal vision." Boy, "you mean, peripheral vision?" Girl, "that is what I said, my personal vision."
Sophomore girl spelling of uterus -- youteris
New math: 2 x 4 = 6. When questioned, the girl responded, "but I thought we were doing multiplication."
Same girl spelled pollination -- polynation. She also spelled stamen -- staymen. I guess it was an order to all men in many nations to stay.
Girl didn't know how to spell the last name "Ramirez" so she spelled it "Rentarearend". If you separate that out it spells: Rent a rear end.
What are the ingredients that result in pregnancy?
What does the copy machine do? "It makes paper."
I did so bad in chemistry that I failed the final, AND it raised my grade.
Sophomore girl asks, "don't rocks grow?" Another girl answers, "no, they corrupt."
Junior boy arrives 7 minutes late. Girl says to him, "you aren't very punctual." He said, "yeah I know I'm not very good with commas, but what does that have to do with my being late?" She then asked him if he knew what "punctual" meant. He said, "commas, periods, semicolons, and such." She then went on to explain to him the difference between "punctuation" and "punctual".
Each baby gets its own umbilical cord, right? And where the umbilical cord was becomes our belly button. So how do you get twins since the mother only has one belly button?
In a discussion about butchering chickens, a girl asked, "You kill them while they are still alive?"
Senior boy reviewing for a psychology test on child development, "What is THIS word doing on the vocabulary list!? What does 'assimilate' have to do with children?" I asked him what he thought "assimilate" meant. Response: "to kill someone without permission." His creative definition of "assassinate" is quite different from the correct definition of "assimilate".
5 minutes before the end of Biology class and after a lengthy discussion about plant reproduction, the sophomore girl sitting in the front row announced, "I feel like we are in biology."
Sophomore girl logic, "So flies lay eggs, and so do chickens. Turtles also lay eggs. So flies are like turtles. So do turtles do that thing like butterflies?"
Add-a-lence oftern prounounced adolescence.
Sophomore boy, "I am confused over being confused."
Did you know that "botany" is pronounced Bow Tawny? or that "tipis" is pronounced Tip Is?
From the physics pretest:
What is a g-force? Student answer: A group of hampsters. Student answer: A movie
What does 3 g's mean? Student answer: 3 grams
How can you increase torque? Student answer: Get a V8 Student answer: Buy a Ford
New words are always entertaining. Senior girl used the word "demeltified" today instead of defrosted. I guess this goes right along with "rememberized" and "thunked".
Talking does not require prior thought stated a junior girl. Politician in the making?
Junior girl informed me that she had her wisdom teeth removed and that the doctor gave her amnesia to put her to sleep.
I was lecturing to the sophomore biology class about substances that can damage the human fetus. The boy in the front row asked, "so, if the fetus gets damaged during pregnancy, does that mean the woman is pregnant?"
2 girls driving to the one of the girl's boyfriend's wrestling meet. They got lost. But have no fear, the one girl announced "we used that STD thing and found our way right there." (Known as the GPS to the rest of us).
Isn't Wisconsin in Illinois?
Students aren't the only ones who make interesting proclamations. I was teaching about survival of the fittest and announced to the class, "those that don't die, live". Duh.
I asked a senior girl to look up on the Internet the prices of United States flags. She got the site up, looked over at me and asked, "what color would you like?"
The latest way to spell "enough" is "anuf".
Sophomore boy's definition of toxic, "passion".
Boy asked, "what is the hangy down thing in the back of the mouth called?" Answer: uvula . Girl blurts out, "I thought that was lower, much lower."
Do humans go through metamorphosis?
Did you know that Benjamin Franklin invented electricity?
Sophomore boy: "spaying" isn't that where they remove the claws?
In a class discussion about an article in the newspaper, a junior girl informed me that "my mother had a vasectomy" and now "she is much happier."
Junior boy walks in and announces, "I didn't know there was such a difference between boys and girls." I thought, well this explains a lot, but I didn't say anything. Then the boy announces, "I just don't understand girls." He spoke quite a mouthful there. Then his girlfriend walks in and announces "boys are so stupid." I asked why. My big mistake. I should have known better. She explains, "I shouldn't have to explain to him why I'm mad at him. He should know." I asked, stupidly, what sin did he commit? She stated "I told him I wanted to talk to him and he said ok." It seems that she wanted to talk later but he stupidly assumed she meant right then. No wonder the poor boy is confused. Don't you wish you could be a teenager again? A grandparent brought her new 2 day old grandchild into my classroom. 6 pounds. Sleeping. Very still, very quiet. She handed the baby to me. As I held her, one of my senior girls came up behind me and looked over my shoulder at the baby. In a little whispery voice, she asked me, "How old are they when their eyes open?" In physics class we were discussing framing houses. I showed the students several different styles of house trusses. I asked the students what a "gable" was. A boy looked the word "gable" up in the internet dictionary. Without loosing a beat, he read the definition, "it is the low clucking sound made by the male turkey." I mentioned that colleges east of the Mississippi River like for students to take the SAT test and that colleges west of the Mississippi River like for students to take the ACT test. A girl promptly asked me if we were east or west of the Mississippi. As I was showing her where Idaho and where the Mississippi River are located on the map (noting that we are definitely to the west of the Mississippi River), another girl is fervently explaining to the class that I am wrong and that it depends on whether one is facing the north or facing the south as to whether Idaho is to the east or the west of the Mississippi River. As I understood her logic, if I am facing north, then the M. River is to the east of Idaho; however, if I am facing south, then the M. River is to the west of Idaho. You try to figure this logic out. Just as a point of order, Julius Caesar was NOT "a great American citizen." Someone needs to go read his history book. Student asked, "Is Montana in Idaho?" Girl called her mother to tell her that her car wasn't running right. It would go, sputter, and die. Her mother asked her if she had gas in the car. The girl responded, "yes, the little light is on that tells me it is full." -- you know, the light that means the car is empty. The boys convinced this girl that all the stop signs that are circled in white are optional. She ran a stop sign and informed the officer that pulled her over: "it is alright, it was an optional stop sign." He thought she was on something and took her driver's license away. I mentioned the word "menopause" and started to ask a question. Before I got the question out, a senior boy shouted, "I know what that is, it is what MEN get when they get old." Sophomore girl asked, "why do they cut the baby's spinal cord when it is born?" "So, if the temperature is going up, does that mean it is getting hotter?" What is the use of the lungs? "Digestion!" "I got a 22% on my first test; a 44% on my second test; if I double my score on my third test, I'll get a 66%." "2 times 5 is 25." "1 times 4 is 14." "I would rather just lay around the house being a big old play thing than have to come to school." "Is a pumpkin a plant?" "The brain must be a muscle because my father is always telling me I need to exercise it more." "Rice comes from a plant!?" What is the primary gas found in our atmosphere? "Dinosaurs." "So if a vacuum cleaner is bagless, does that mean it doesn't have a bag?" Quote from a female student. "Wait! I'm not impotent, I just don't understand." "I was out jogging last night and there was a herd of cows. They were real scary. They started MEOWING at me." "So, is it primarily the male that provides the sperm?" Picture it, a rather large senior boy (6'2" and 250lbs or so). He looks somewhat like a grizzly bear. Anyway, he bounds into my room at 8:00 a.m. one morning and announced that his sister (a former student of mine) is expecting her first child but "he is going to have to wait 8 months to find out if he is going to be an aunt or an uncle!" Re: Jurassic Park. "Did they make the movie or write the book first?" A student complaining about the air-conditioning being too cold announced, "I think I'm suffering from 'hypohernia'." "Do geese eat meat?" "The function of the seed coat is to protect the seed from incest and dirt." One student announced, "It only costs 25 cents per gallon to gas up in the middle east." Immediately another stated, "you mean like in Nebraska?" Name the river that is on the border between the US and Mexico. Answer: "The Nile!" On the Advanced Biology field trip, the bus is driving along through the desert when all of a sudden one of the girls yells, "look, its one of those jumping things!" Clueless as to what she'd seen, everyone looks. It was an antelope! I was amazed when I learned "the Anaconda is the major river that drains out of Brazil." "Is there salt in The Great Salt Lake?" Is a "C-section" different from a "cesarean?" Basic concept of physics: There is no sound in a vacuum. Student statement. "but my vacuum makes a sound, kind of a 'vuruuuuum'." "Do little boy babies pee?" I pointed out to one of my pregnant female students that by age 30 she could be a grandmother. She responded with, "No I can't. I'm having a boy." Question: Why doesn't the common cold kill us? Student answer: We have cough drops. 2.7 = 30/(20 x 20 x h) solve the equation. Student response: this is like math. Are there Mormons in Utah? Student statement of logic: Once a person is dead, stability exists, because the person stays dead. In a class discussion about cystic fibrosis, a female student informed me that she was sure she had had cystic fibrosis but that she'd gone to the doctor and he cured her. I asked how this came to pass and she stated, "he gave me Duracell." "So what you're saying is, biology is something like science." What is the function of the mammary glands? Sophomore girl shouts out "thinking!" "Cows stomp on the dead plants thus killing the plants." "Fish don't lay their eggs on the shore. (pause) Do they?" The other night I was talking with a former student who was suppose to be at a university studying "Marine Biology". I asked her what she was doing back in Idaho. She told me she'd changed universities and majors. This isn't too uncommon, but I stupidly asked why, since she'd always had an interest in marine biology. She informed me "there was too much biology involved." How could one not have figured "biology" would play a key role in studying "marine biology'? Two female students were driving to a rodeo. They missed the exit and turned the car rapidly to try to make the corner. The car spun into the ditch. Fortunately, no one was injured. The police came. The policeman asked the girls to describe the road conditions. The girls thought and then responded, "asphalt". I asked a student if she'd ever taken an IQ test. She covered up one eye and said, "E, P, Q. . . yes I've taken those before." I explained to a group of seniors that Sigmund Freud was the founder of modern psychology. A junior girls says, "hey I know who he is. He's that guy in Las Vegas who plays with tigers." Final exam review, chemistry: I asked, who discovered the electron. A student shouts out "Eisenhower". Before I could respond another student says "no it wasn't you idiot, Eisenhower is a type of beer". Final exam review, biology: After reviewing for about 40 minutes a student states, "hey, this stuff looks familiar. We've talked about this stuff this year, haven't we?" After spending quite a bit of time explaining to the chemistry class that water's surface tension creates a "tough surface" to water that allows light things like feathers to float on top of the water's surface etc., I asked the students why they thought that water skippers could walk on water. Answer: "Well you see, the water skippers study the surface of the water and they see the hydrogen atoms and they choose to walk only on hydrogen atoms because if they should accidentally step on an oxygen atom they will fall through and get wet." "Oh look, you can write on either side of this paper!" What is the capital of Kenya? Student responds, "Africa". A couple of female students were driving their four wheelers down the road. A policeman pulls them over and points out that they are not allowed to drive the four wheelers on the public roads, note the sticker on the four wheeler. One of the girls responds, "oh, we didn't know this was a public road. We thought it was a county road."
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